How to dispel the fear of labor

Darling Baby Boy,

As the day creeps closer, mama gets a little anxious from time to time. So here are some of the tips, I have personally found useful!

 

  • Self empowerment – I remind myself that millions of women have done it, so will I. I remind myself that if it was really so bad, then why would people have repeat babies. I remind myself that child birth is a natural process, part of the cycle of life. I have achieved a miracle thus far – this body, MY body has grown a life sized human being from just a collection of cells. HOW AMAZING IS THAT? Therefore what goes in, must come out naturally! 😛

 

  • Fear and Pain are psychological – What the mind can conceive, the body can achieve! I am going to accept that child birth is painful, excruciating perhaps but my mind will be able to handle the pain if I accept that pain has to come before the reward. I will keep my eyes towards the prize, and know that each contraction comes with a release, and the final release will result in your birth.

 

  • Collect Positive Birth Stories – I enquire about positive birth stories around me. I offer support to new moms and rejoice (with them) in their happy birth stories. Remind myself that labor is doable just like what they went through and stay away from overly dramatic people or people who sensationalize their births. The 3rd trimester is not a good time to partake in negative birth stories! Focus on the good!

 

  • Focus on the END PRODUCT! – Finally getting to labor means that I will get to see YOU! My lil precious pie after about 40 weeks of waiting! Seeing you, smelling you and hugging you will be my greatest reward.

 

 

 

Advertisements

39 weeks!

Hello Lil Tater Tot!

Mummy and Daddy recently bought a new toy called Amazon Echo so we have been listening to all sorts of different music. A key favourite of yours seems to be nursery rhymes and lullabies!

We have been randomly asking Alexa to play lullabies and your favourite seem to be a selection of songs from Lisa Loeb, she has a song called ‘Lullaby Girl‘ and that seems to be your favourite song! When I play the song, you almost always perk up and kick cutely! Kinda counter intuitive since the lullaby is supposed to help put you to SLEEP!

The end of the third trimester is a very exciting period! You feel so real to me, mostly because you’re kicking cutely inside and reacting to sounds, music, warm and mummy’s accelerated heartbeats/excitement. Today while online shopping for the cutest bibs/mittens/little hats, I was clearly excited and you joined in the excitement too! Shopping for you makes Mama very excited. Daddy hasn’t been very good at stopping me, in fact, he’s always replies with, “SO CUTE! GET IT!” I fear that you’re going to have a new outfit everyday for 2 weeks straight! But other mommies have said some babies change 5-6 outfits a day and drench tiny mittens very frequently, so maybe mommy instead will have to do laundry less and have more free time kissing n cuddling you instead. Daddy was very cute, he was telling me that he hopes he will get some cuddles in when you’re born. I guess, I have been crazily protective of you! As I should! You’re my most precious pie!

I bought you your first Christmas outfit, on the way home from the doctor’s last week.

IMG_6020

Everyday I’m so excited because, everyday I am one stop closer to meeting you! My sweet sweet baby boy that has been baking inside me for 270 days now!

Its amazing really, how I can be so excited to meet you, but yet still a little terrified about the labor process, but a little bit of fear is alright I guess, hopefully it will kick off the right hormones! I keep reminding myself that nothing worth doing in life is easy!

Speaking of what’s really not easy. Its all the random advice that my growing belly has generated! I was reading this article in the middle of the night, because of pregnancy insomnia and acid reflux (http://time.com/4989068/motherhood-is-hard-to-get-wrong/) Its really so true in so many ways. Being pregnant is hard enough, what ia gratingly annoying is people around me, trying to tell me that I’m not doing this and that, or doing this and that wrongly. By and large it comes from the goodness of their hearts, but some people really rub me the wrong way. Of course I want the best for my child, of course I don’t want to harm my child but there are so many different schools of thought on, “How to raise the perfect child, How to have the perfect pregnancy and How to be the perfect mother.” Coming from Singapore and giving birth in NYC, makes it even worse because sometimes the people back home expect me to do ‘X’ and people here expect ‘Y’. I’m sick of explaining my rationale for how I want my birth to be, and how I am taking care of myself. I don’t quite understand why personal decisions suddenly become a room for debate? But the good thing is, over this pregnancy, I have polished the art of going,  “Thank you for your advice” and not say anything more.

But I suppose, this is a glimpse of what motherhood will be like. I imagine that lots of people will have comments about my parenting style and how I should discipline, what I should feed you, what developmental milestones you should be hitting, etc etc. So all in all, pregnancy is good preparation for standing firm in my beliefs. At some levels, I do feel that raising a kid is based on guttural instincts too, I will spend the most time with you, observing your habits and needs, thus I would be the best person to gauge and decide how I want to raise you!

In the past week, you have been showing various signs of wanting to come out, at least according to traditional labor signs, but every other day, you display some symptoms and then the next day, you’ll be like, “Just teasing! Not today Mom!”

OH YOU LIL TEASEBALL! We’ll see you whenever you’re ready then!

Lovingly, Mummy.

PS: But if I want to be completely honest. This is how I really feel like right now.

seal-labor

38 weeks baked!

Dear Darling Kai Kai,

You probably weigh about 6-7 pounds right now, although sometimes I feel like I’m hurling around what feels like a 20 pound baby. You’re so big and so strong! You kick me a lot, and boy do you really kick me HARD sometimes. Sometimes, I have to stop for a bit and take a breather when you kick right up into my lungs. By and large, you are such an active baby and my favorite part of the day is when you swirl cutely around my belly after a meal or sweet treat. I chat with you most then, when you’re giving me gentle kicks and rolling around gently in ma belly.

Daddy’s birthday is tomorrow, but this year he hasn’t thought much about his birthday at all. I asked him what he wanted for dinner and he said: “Cream Pasta” from a bottle because mama cannot eat tomato based sauces. I think we can do better than that tho, we can order Italian food in for dinner for Daddy’s birthday! I’ve been trying hard to eat a repertoire of foods because I’m so afraid that your palette will be like Daddy! He doesn’t like most Asian food and can eat pasta and cold sandwiches everyday. Seems like you like rice a lot, or rather, rice doesn’t make mama sick, so we have been eating lots of rice! I cannot wait to see how you’re going to be like, I predict that you’ll be a feisty one and really beat to the sound of your own drum.

Continue to grow well sweet little boy! Mummy and Daddy are ready to meet you whenever you are ready to see the world! We’re going to have so many awesome adventures together!

Love,

Mama!

On being a new mummy – worrying

My body has gone through huge changes in the last 249 days, some of which are fascinating and some of which kinda annoying, if I want to be completely honest. But I am in awe with the female body, of how it as grown a mass of cells to a large 5.5 pound baby, that kicks, squirms, breathes and hiccups ever so cutely. I talk to you every day, asking you to kick sometimes but mostly asking you to calm down! You’re such an active baby, which is great because the doctors tell me how healthy you are and it makes me feel very secure.

Pregnancy has made mummy a worrywart, from getting enough exercise, to getting enough rest, to the food I put into my mouth, to the type of diapers/formula I buy for you, to your sleeping quarters. Knowledge is power, but given so much information on the internet these days, too much information can sometimes be overwhelming to a new mom.

I have to check ever so carefully, where I am reading medical articles from, whether reviews online are paid or genuine, whether or not I’m getting a good deal on big ticket items and most importantly — Are these products safe for you? Research, Research, Research seems to be the operative word for the last couple of months. Given my A type personality, it sometimes stresses me out, because I only want the best for you.

At the same time though, I have learnt very valuable lessons about trusting my body, trusting my medical team and trusting that me and your daddy will be the best possible parents to you.  Medically, this pregnancy has given me some grief and some issues, the challenge for me personally, has been not to overthink issues, take medication (even though when the pregnancy started I was adamant about NOT putting drugs into my body), but there are things beyond my control and so I had to do, what I had to do. There is this mummy guilt that comes along with it, I wonder if I’m too soft of a cookie, and could have ‘sucked it up’ better and toughen up more, but after nights of puking amongst other things, I gave in. In order to be the best mommy for you, I would first have to take care of my physical, mental and emotional health, so that I would be in best shape to take care of you.

I have to humbly acknowledge that I won’t get everything right, there will be struggles along the way, but we will all be fine in the end. Nothing worth doing in life is easy, so with this thought in mind, I’m/We’re looking forward to your arrival in about 31 days, and the rest of the 18 years (?) with you, learning new things about parenthood, making mistakes and growing as a family. One thing is constant tho, you are loved beyond words.

Love,

Mummy.

PS: This is me, after two continuous nights of not waking up in misery, looking all fresh and happy at 35.5 weeks of pregnancy. Its worth documenting because I have not had good sleep since 27 weeks!

#MESSYHAIRDONTCARE

IMG_5784

Welcome to the Family

Dear Baby Kai Kai!

Welcome to our family! We are so looking forward to seeing you and showering you with sweet baby kisses! Mummy is beyond excited to see you!

We’re fast approaching our third trimester and mummy is doing tons of researching about babies and getting your room ready! Daddy is all ready to assemble the cribs and changing table/dresser for you! We are both super excited about setting up a home filled with love and joy for you. You are already our precious pie!

We recently moved to a new neighborhood where I suspect will be a perfect place for you to grow up in. It has lots of young families, open spaces, near a wonderful state park and zoned for a pretty decent preschool. We love how quiet the apartment is and how lovely the expansive views are from up high. There is a pool in our apartment complex and Daddy cannot wait to bring you to splash like a dolphin in the inviting waters. From our apartment, we see the Hudson river confluence and Daddy is going on and on about teaching you to ‘sail before you can walk’. Mummy has mixed feelings about that.

At first, I didn’t know what it meant when my fellow mommies told me that love for their child begins in the womb. Now I finally understand what it means, because I already love you so so much right now and I will continue to do so for the rest of eternity. Continue to excite mommy lots with your swift little kicks, cute hiccups, grow big, get stronger and we look forward to seeing you in November. Till then, enjoy the mini swimming pool inside of mom, made specially just for you!

Love, Mummy.

PS: It would be a really nice thing to kick a little less violently when mummy is hugging the toilet bowl or hurting inside due to acid refluxes and a host of other pregnancy related pains. Try to remember the mantra – “Never kick a man when he’s down!”. Although, you’re probably trying to nap and all the noise around you is disturbing your little baby nap. Nevertheless try your best!