Motherhood is no walk in the park

A few days ago, we were having lunch and Kris took Kai for a walk because he needed a nap. The ladies behind me were staring at us throughout. After a while, Kris took him around the block to make him sleep, while I tried to inhale my lunch so that I could take over and let Kris have some hot food, when he cycled back to us.

After we were done, the ladies walked up to Kris and told him, “You’re such a good dad.” Which make no mistake, everyone seeing how they two interact knows that. More importantly, I know and acknowledge that. Kris is a great dad, and Kai is very lucky to have him as a father.

Here lies the however.

However! I really feel that the bar to be a good mother is much harder. Parenting is not a competition, that much I know. However! I do that all the time alone, if I go out and have a meal with Kai, I sacrifice hot food, I sacrifice whatever conversation I have with my friends, in order to make sure he eats, he sleeps, he has enough water. I do that everyday, willingly. But NOBODY has once gone up to me and told me I was a good mother. I say this not because I want random praise from strangers, but to illustrate my point that, its much harder to be a regarded as a, “Good Mom”.

I feel like sometimes, women judge other women too quickly, and the bar for being a good parent, is much higher on the other side. I know my husband disagrees with venom, but he’s not me and I’m entitled to have an opinion, regardless of whether I am a SAHM or CEO.

This is why, I feel very lucky to have a #MOMSQUAD. A group of moms, I hold close to my heart that I am willing to be open and honest with. With whom, I do not feel judged when asking for advice or sharing my struggles as a mom with.

I do feel however, that I’m doing a little better with this mom thing everyday. There are now more days that I feel like I’m killing it, as opposed to being defeated and crying in the corner. Yes, it happens. Especially, when you baby doesn’t sleep. He’s sleeping a little better these days. Thank goodness! 

Motherhood is no walk in the park, but its true, that time makes everything so much better. To new mothers out there, go out and find your tribe. I’m not a cliquish kind of person and, avoided girl cliques, all through high school and college, but as a mother, there are some things, I hold so near and close, that I’m not willing to share with just everybody, so having a tight knit group, really has worked for me. Plus, new mothers are busy, you need a few, so that in times of need, someone will be there for you, as you would for them.

Motherhood, is no walk in the park, but a cute, cherubic face with two teeth and a cheeky grin, really makes the days go much faster.

 

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How to dispel the fear of labor

Darling Baby Boy,

As the day creeps closer, mama gets a little anxious from time to time. So here are some of the tips, I have personally found useful!

 

  • Self empowerment – I remind myself that millions of women have done it, so will I. I remind myself that if it was really so bad, then why would people have repeat babies. I remind myself that child birth is a natural process, part of the cycle of life. I have achieved a miracle thus far – this body, MY body has grown a life sized human being from just a collection of cells. HOW AMAZING IS THAT? Therefore what goes in, must come out naturally! 😛

 

  • Fear and Pain are psychological – What the mind can conceive, the body can achieve! I am going to accept that child birth is painful, excruciating perhaps but my mind will be able to handle the pain if I accept that pain has to come before the reward. I will keep my eyes towards the prize, and know that each contraction comes with a release, and the final release will result in your birth.

 

  • Collect Positive Birth Stories – I enquire about positive birth stories around me. I offer support to new moms and rejoice (with them) in their happy birth stories. Remind myself that labor is doable just like what they went through and stay away from overly dramatic people or people who sensationalize their births. The 3rd trimester is not a good time to partake in negative birth stories! Focus on the good!

 

  • Focus on the END PRODUCT! – Finally getting to labor means that I will get to see YOU! My lil precious pie after about 40 weeks of waiting! Seeing you, smelling you and hugging you will be my greatest reward.